It’s the Size of a Man’s Wallet That Really Matters

An under-endowed man can still make a huge impact, recent research suggests, provided the size of his wallet is big. That’s the findings of Newcastle University evolutionary biologists, Dr Thomas Pollet and Prof Daniel Nettles. Women have a much more fulfilling sex life with men who are rich, and the richer the man, the better it gets for the girl.

Does that mean that super-wealthy men like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have deliriously happy wives? Maybe… Dr Pollet says, «Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner.» So, if a girl has a great sex life with a man who has a respectable bank account of one million, what happens when the man has the estimated 50 billion of Mr Gates, or the estimated 42 billion of Mr Buffett? According to the reseach findings, I’d reckon they wouldn’t have time for anything other than constant orgasmic pleasure!

Surely it isn’t really like that, is it? Dr Pollett says it isn’t down to anything the girl might think about regarding a lot of money. It’s all down to evolution. She simply can’t help herself. You see, according to the evolutionary theories that Dr Pollett relies on, evolution has «hard-wired» women to choose the kind of men who will best provide for them, and it’s the size of his wallet that really matters in the modern world.

Perhaps in prehistoric times this «hard-wired» evolutionary response caused women to look at the size of the kill he brought back from the hunt. A man who only brought back a rabbit was likely to have a very sexually unsatisfied female partner. On the other hand, the man who could bring back a dozen buffalo – and a couple of of woolly mammoths into the bargain – probably had a very happy and well satisfied partner, though it’s a bit hard to see how he could have found the time.

Is it really so coldly clinical? Are women really mindless, gold-digging automotons who can’t work these things out for themselves? I’m sure that every woman reading this is shouting an emphatic, «No!» Surely there are plenty of women who have partners with modest bank balances who have great sex lives. And while the old saying of «when money goes out the door, love goes out the window» may have some basis in truth, as long as he brings home the bacon and keeps the home fires burning, most women are likely to be reasonably content with their lot.

Not so, says Dr Pollett, whose personal bank balance couldn’t be determined while researching this article. He says that, «More desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms.» And mates who are more desirable are of course those with more money, according to Dr Pollett. The women just can’t help themselves, apparently. It’s something completely out of their control. Dr Pollett continues by stating, «What those orgasms are saying is ‘I’m extremely loyal, so you should invest in me and my children’.»

Ah! It’s all down to the wily ways of women who use their sexuality to hold on to a man who has everything she needs to keep her and her children in comfort for life. It has nothing whatsoever to do with love and affection – just survival. Maybe so, but I’m willing to bet that there’s a few women who don’t quite see it like that.

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