How to Become a Powerful Influence On People

How Influential Are You?

Have you stopped lately to think about what level of influence you have on people? To put it another way; Do people listen to you and respect your opinion? This is especially important on your job, whether you are rank-and-file or in management. People follow leaders, whether they hold a title on their job or not. If you are not able to persuade people, and win them over to your way of thinking, you may be relegated to the lower rungs of society.

Every day we are presented with opportunities to influence others. It may come in the form of a law enforcement officer ready to issue you a ticket, or your boss challenging parts of your presentation, or when you have to return a pair of shoes to the department store without a receipt. How you handle these everyday challenges, in turn, help or hurt your ability to shine in high profile situations, where your persuasive skills are on display for all to see.

Your Most Powerful Tool

Do you want to know the most powerful tool you have at your disposal when it comes to influencing people? I learned and perfected this strategy over a 4 year period, while working as a contracts negotiator for the Department of Defense. I must have learned my lesson well, because I was named one of the top negotiators in my area, and received the coveted sustained superior performance award for high level achievements.

This tool is so powerful, most people (on all levels of organizations) completely miss it, yet it has been proven to be extremely effective in studies after studies. What is it you ask? It is the "psychology of a smile." That's right; a smile. Why is it so powerful? Because it has no language barriers-none. I have tested this theory all around the world. No matter where I travel, every single person, in every language understands its message. A smile is the universal language of winners. The reason I call it a tool is because, like any tool it works in the right situation.

It was President Abraham Lincoln who said that a man is extremely responsible for the condition of his face. How true this is. So the next time you are tempted to use the tool of anger during one of your daily challenges, try employing a simple smile instead, and see if the results are different. I have used it on flights across the country, and witnessed flight attendance to be more attentive to me v. others. I have used it when I really should have gotten a ticket for speeding, only to get a warning to slow down. I have used it at restaurants and watched servers be just a little kinder to me and my party, over all others. I have watched frowns turn to smiles, simple because I took the time to smile.

The Smile Strategy

Do not dismiss this as some flaky strategy used by flakes and geeks. The "smile strategy" has been used effectively by such greats as Henry Kissinger, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, Oprah Winfrey, Melinda Gates, Nelson Mandela, Richard Bronson, Warren Buffet, Barack Obama, Napoleon Hill, Angela Merkel, Michelle Obama, Laurene Powell Jobs, and so many more.

Do you want to become a powerful influence on people? Then start with a smile. Watch stunningly successful people (even in your immediate circles) and you'll see that they have a tendency to smile more than others. Frank Irving Fletcher wrote that; a smile cost nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.

Conclusion

One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal when it comes to influencing people is simply to smile .. A smile is the universal language of winners.

© 2014 Cubie Davis King. All rights reserved. Unlawful to duplicate or use in any way with the express written permission of the author.

Marrying Yourself: Positive Songs, Positive Music And New Marriage

Chante Moore is known for love songs which are seen as positive songs by listeners all over the globe. Hits like "Chante's Got A Man" are balanced by her large repertoire of mellow songs. Some positive music, including one (and possibly more) of Chante's love songs, can be used in weddings and commitment ceremonies. Those songs are relaxing and ideal for ceremony. The type of marriage involved has typically featured a couple. Chante broke new ground when debuting on a reality show and deciding to marry herself. The act was documented on the television show; it represented the theme of a book which was released around the same time period.

Her book was marked as a source of self-love material. Positive songs about romantic love provide the perfect opportunity to describe how self-love is important. By writing this material, Chante merged the romance with wisdom and the music. While we can not all marry ourselves on a network television show, Chante's example showed that positive music and its' singers do not have to stick to the status quo. And, in fact, if they have something interesting and informative to share, they will often depart from the status quo at some point: sharing information that is seen as marginal and uncommon.

Another artist willing to break the mold, Queen Latifah, went through a similar theme in her life. In past songs, Latifah has advocated for more respect for women and more unity among people as a whole. In her past appearance on an episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, Latifah expressed that she was currently discovering and loving herself day by day. She described the unique move while wearing a wedding ring, which she was asked about by the show's host. Latifah's comments would suggest allegiance with a similar theme in the self-love community- real love begins with self-love.

Music can be a motivating. Backing up the positive songs with action can increase the effectiveness. When you're reaching for relationship happiness, and lowering your standards, this can mean you will have to talk yourself into things- instead of being completely clear on sincerity, you have to ask questions, repeatedly play devil's advocate, to turn away from the internal pulls which signal problems.

Positive music and can help us remember how we are supposed to be treated and treat others. And unique methods, like self-love marriage, can make it that much harder for us not to follow through with the messages in the music.